All I Ever Wanted Read online

  Lovingly dedicated to all of my loyal readers who waited so patiently for Richard and Naomi’s story. I couldn’t do this without your support and love. You are the best!

  Acknowledgment

  To Carolyn M. Ray for being so good at what she does.

  Contents

  Title Page

  Copyright Notice

  Dedication

  Acknowledgment

  Prologue

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Epilogue

  Teaser

  Titles by Francis Ray

  Rave Reviews for Francis Ray

  About the Author

  Copyright

  Prologue

  Long before dawn, Naomi Reese awoke in a panic. Cold sweat beaded her skin. Her heart pounding, her mouth dry, her one overriding thought was getting to her daughter, Kayla.

  Shivering with fear, she fought back a whimper as she struggled to untangle her legs from the bedding. Seconds later her bare feet hit the carpeted floor. In two steps she was running.

  Terror nipping at her heels, afraid she’d find the twin bed empty, she burst into Kayla’s room next to hers. The butterfly night-light she always left on illuminated the bed. Seeing Kayla sleeping peacefully, her slim arm wrapped loosely around the waist of Teddy, her favorite toy and teddy bear, Naomi swayed, then briefly shut her eyes in relief.

  Slowly, her fear receded. She moved closer to the bed to touch her daughter, to reassure herself that it had only been a bad dream. Her ex-husband wasn’t in Santa Fe. They were still safe.

  No matter how hard she tried to shake the fear that he knew where they lived, she couldn’t. Perhaps she should have moved when he found them the last time, but she had friends here. Good friends. They knew her worst secret and didn’t think less of her.

  But it was difficult not to think less of herself.

  She’d been such easy prey for a sweet-talking man like her ex-husband. She’d swallowed every lie, believed his possessiveness was love instead of what it was, a way of controlling her. His overbearing ways became steadily worse after they were married. If she wasn’t working, he wanted her home.

  One night she’d wanted to go to a movie with girlfriends and he’d forbidden her to go. She thought he was joking at first. She quickly learned differently with his shouts and accusations that she was going to meet some man.

  Insulted more than angry, she’d picked up her handbag and headed for the front door of their apartment, ignoring his orders for her to come back. She had few friends and was looking forward to a girls’ night out. When she kept walking, he’d thrown the glass in his hand at her.

  The glass shattered against the wall, missing her head by mere inches. Defensively, Naomi had covered her head with her arms and hands. The flying shards had cut her arm. He’d begged her forgiveness on seeing her bleeding arm. He’d had a stressful day at work. He’d been the first policeman on the scene of a horrible automobile accident. He couldn’t stop thinking that the woman he’d been unable to save could have been her. She tried to understand as he bandaged her arm. She’d forgiven him that time and those times that followed.

  Leaning over, her hands trembling, Naomi straightened the bedcovers, brushed her hand across her daughter’s head, gently pressed her lips to her hair. Straightening, she wrapped her arms tightly around her waist and stared down at the most precious gift in the world to her. Her daughter. Safe. It had only been a dream.

  Crossing the small bedroom, Naomi took a seat in the rocking chair. Last night she’d sat in the same chair, holding Kayla while reading her a bedtime story. Tucking her bare feet under her, Naomi pulled the long cotton gown over her legs and watched Kayla sleep. Naomi knew she’d put her daughter through so much misery because she had chosen the wrong man to love. She had been so blind and needy that she’d been easy prey for a cruel, deceptive man like Gordon Reese.

  Her older parents were social butterflies and never understood their shy only child, who preferred to read rather than join school clubs or play sports. She’d always been a disappointment to them and something of an oddity.

  She met Gordon when he came to her church to speak about safety. She’d been naive and flattered by the attention of such a handsome man. Her few friends and co-workers were actually jealous that she’d caught the eye of such an athletic, articulate man. She couldn’t believe he wanted her when he could have had almost any woman. She’d never dated much and had turned him down twice when he asked her out. His persistence, his interest in her and how her day had gone as a fifth-grade math teacher, his easygoing manner, had won her over. He’d even agreed to wait to be intimate until after they were married.

  Naomi closed her eyes and briefly placed her forehead on her updrawn knees. Their wedding night had been a disappointment for both of them. She thought he’d be just as patient and loving as he’d always been. Instead he was demanding and demoralizing. Frigid was one of the nicer names he’d called her.

  Ashamed, with no close friends or family to talk to, she’d thought it was somehow her fault that she couldn’t make him happy, just as she carried the burden that she couldn’t make her parents love her.

  To compound her untenable situation, her parents liked her ex-husband. When she tried to talk to her mother about his possessive outbursts, his unfounded jealousy, her mother immediately blamed Naomi. Her father agreed. She should try harder to make him happy. She never brought it up again, not even when he began hitting her. With nowhere to turn, she’d remained in the abusive marriage.

  Things became worse when she became pregnant with Kayla. Naomi’s eyes closed as she recalled becoming physically ill when he told her to get rid of the baby. He’d later said it was because he was afraid for her, but she hadn’t believed him. After Kayla was born, he’d been jealous of the attention she gave their daughter, and even more jealous about Naomi as well.

  When Kayla was two, fear for her daughter’s safety had finally given Naomi the courage to leave and file for divorce. The situation came to a head the night Kayla was crying and fretful because she had an ear infection. He’d complained that “the brat” was keeping him awake. Naomi should be in bed taking care of his needs instead of watching over a sniveling baby. He wished she’d never been born.

  His cruel, unfeeling words still had the power to hurt. Tears glittered in Naomi’s eyes, but none fell. Kayla deserved the love of both parents. Naomi’s bad choice had taken so much from her daughter.

  He’d never loved Kayla, had never been concerned about her. Instead he always considered her an inconvenience and ignored her unless Naomi was taking care of Kayla instead of doing something for him. She’d never been able to relax when he was around them. Naomi had hoped and prayed he’d change, but that night she’d accepted he was never going to love his child. She’d left him the next day and filed for divorce a few days later.

  She’d gotten the divorce and full custody, but her ex had made her life hell, coming to her house at all times of the night, smashing her car windows, breaking into her apartment and stealing all her furniture. A couple of times she’d gone to the courthouse to have a restraining order issued against him, but his policemen buddies always called him and he’d show up, promising Kayla would pay if she “embarrassed” him in front of his friends.

  One afternoon when Naomi had gone to pick up Kayla from day care, he was walking out the door with their daughter despite Na
omi having told the staff that he was never to have contact with Kayla. She realized she had to leave San Antonio to be safe. Her parents had retired to Orlando, but even if they had been there, they wouldn’t have helped. She’d been on her way to California when her car broke down in Santa Fe.

  Untucking her legs and coming to her feet, Naomi neared the bed once again. They’d been homeless and sleeping in the broken-down car with nowhere to turn, no money. To this day she had no idea what would have happened to them if Catherine Stewart, now Catherine Grayson, hadn’t befriended them. Even knowing she was lying about her identity, Catherine’s future husband, Luke Grayson, had put her and Kayla up in a hotel, then helped her find a job as a receptionist with Luke’s veterinarian friend Richard Youngblood. She smiled softly.

  Richard was as much a part of the reason her life was turning around as Catherine was. He’d saved her when her ex-husband showed up at her hotel room, taking Kayla and ordering her to leave with him. They had only gone a few miles when they were stopped by a police car. Richard had notified the authorities and come for her and Kayla. His presence gave Naomi the courage to tell the truth, and obtain another restraining order against her ex.

  Their life had been quiet since then. Still, the fear wouldn’t stay away. She’d have weeks where she thought she was doing better, then something would trigger her unease. Perhaps this time it had been the story on the news of a woman in Santa Fe who hadn’t been able to get away. She’d been severely beaten by her husband in front of her children. She remained in a coma: her children in foster care, their lives irrevocably damaged.

  Naomi often wondered if she’d ever be truly free to live without fear, to live a normal life. Her ex was a cruel, vindictive man. He wouldn’t want her to be happy. She worked hard to hide her nightmares that Gordon would return and kidnap Kayla, worked hard not to let her fear keep Kayla from being a happy, outgoing child.

  Not for anything would Naomi have her daughter live in fear. Naomi just had to keep trying until it wasn’t forced. Her daughter would have the happy childhood and life her mother never had.

  Adjusting the covers again, Naomi promised herself that she wasn’t going to let her fears ruin things for them. Straightening, Naomi left her daughter’s room, praying with each step that this was one promise she could keep.

  Chapter 1

  Naomi couldn’t sleep. She jumped at every sound, even ice falling from the automatic ice maker. Finally, around 7:00 AM Saturday, she couldn’t stay in bed any longer. Throwing back the covers, she went to take a bath and get dressed.

  In well-worn jeans and a T-shirt, she sat at the kitchen table and worked on lesson plans for the coming week for her students. She loved teaching and she loved her students. They eagerly returned the affection with hugs and smiles. They soaked up learning like little sponges.

  She’d taught fifth grade in San Antonio, but at that age students could be defiant. After the past years dealing with her ex-husband, Gordon, she wanted as much peace as possible. She’d jumped at the chance to teach a lower grade level. Now, since Kayla was a kindergarten student, they were on the same hall and Naomi could watch over her. As expected, Kayla made friends easily and loved school. As Richard had said when they first met, Kayla was a loving and affectionate child.

  Naomi’s fingers paused in making a notation. She often wondered if Richard ever realized the strong impression he’d made on Kayla. Almost from the moment they’d met, they’d become fast friends. Considering how her own father had yelled at her, it had surprised and pleased Naomi.

  It was always Dr. Richard this and Dr. Richard that. Kayla had already decided to be a veterinarian and follow in Richard’s footsteps. She liked Luke and his brothers, but her face didn’t light up when she saw them the way it did when she saw Richard.

  The phone rang on the kitchen counter. She tensed for a moment on seeing UNKNOWN on the caller ID, then chastised herself. Richard and Catherine both had unlisted home and cell phone numbers. “Hello.”

  “Good morning, Naomi. Is Kayla ready for her big day?”

  Hearing Richard’s voice, Naomi smiled and admitted her daughter wasn’t the only Reese female who enjoyed being around Richard. “She’s still asleep, which isn’t surprising. She could hardly fall asleep last night because she was so excited about today.”

  “I wanted to be there, but I’m headed to a ranch thirty miles away. I don’t think I’ll be back in time.”

  Concern knitted her brows. Richard knew how much the day meant to Kayla. He’d be there if he could. “What happened?”

  “A rancher’s horse tangled with a mountain lion” came the succinct answer. “He’s usually a levelheaded guy, but he sounded frantic. I’m hoping it’s not as bad as he believes. You know how owners can be.”

  “I remember.” The people who brought their beloved pets to the clinic were often overly concerned, but that was better than not caring at all. Richard understood that. His compassion and understanding were just two of the reasons he was such a great vet and in such high demand. He wouldn’t leave the ranch until he knew the animal was all right.

  “I’ll be back as soon as I can, but I’m not sure how long this will take” Richard said. “Please explain to Kayla.”

  “You know I will.”

  “Tell her to have fun. Bye.”

  “Bye.” Hanging up, Naomi took her seat, leaned back in the cushioned, iron-backed chair and stared out the small window.

  The morning haze had cleared and the sun was shining. Weather in Santa Fe could be unpredictable, but that was a small price for the beautiful scenery and the friends she and Kayla had found there. Kayla would be disappointed that Richard wouldn’t be there. He’d come to mean a great deal to both of them.

  She glanced at the clock. It was almost nine. She needed to wake Kayla, help her with her bath, then cook breakfast. They had a busy day ahead of them.

  Standing, she heard muffled footsteps on the carpeted floor and smiled as Kayla hurried into the kitchen, her arm around Teddy’s fat waist. Bending, Naomi kissed her daughter on the head, brushed her hand over Teddy’s. The teddy bear had been her companion since Catherine gave her the stuffed toy shortly after they met. Catherine was also the reason her daughter liked butterflies. “Good morning.”

  “Good morning, Mama. The big hand is almost on the nine. Me and Teddy need to get our bath and get dressed so we won’t be late.”

  “You won’t be late,” Naomi said, but she took Kayla’s free hand and started toward her daughter’s bedroom. Two months ago they’d moved from the second floor to the first floor because it was bigger, and Kayla had her own bathroom—which she loved. Naomi tried not to think that the back door also gave her ex another entry into their apartment.

  “You can just run the water, Mama. I can do it by myself,” Kayla said. “Teddy can watch me.”

  Kneeling on the rug with the butterfly appliqué next to the tub, Naomi turned on the water. “I know he can, but I’m sure he won’t mind if I stay.”

  Kayla sighed. “I guess, but I can dress us by myself.”

  Testing the water, Naomi turned off the faucet and stared at her daughter. She was growing up and becoming independent much too fast. The need to cling was difficult to control. “After you take your bath, we’ll see.”

  Sighing again, Kayla placed Teddy on the top of the commode, then reached for the hem of her nightgown. Naomi resisted helping when the neck opening hung briefly on Kayla’s chin. Seconds later, Kayla’s face popped though and she was smiling. “See, I can do it.”

  “I see. You did good.” Naomi brushed her hand across Kayla’s hair again. It was as thick as hers. “Richard called. He had to go out of town to take care of a sick animal. He’ll try to make it, but he’s not sure.”

  Kayla’s head lowered briefly. “He told me that animals depend on him to help them get better. They don’t want to be sick any more than people do. When I grow up, I’m going to be a vet and help animals get well, too.”

  No t
ears, no pouting, just simple understanding. Whatever she had done wrong by choosing the wrong man, having Kayla in her life had made up for it. “And you’ll be very good at it, just as Richard is. Now, let’s get you into the tub.”

  Naomi helped Kayla get settled, then picked up Teddy and took a seat on the commode top. Her baby was growing up. More important, she was growing up happy. “Teddy and I will be right here if you need us.”

  * * *

  Thirty minutes later, Naomi was in the kitchen starting breakfast. After her bath, Kayla had wanted to pick out clothes for herself and Teddy. After her last birthday that wasn’t a problem.

  Of course Kayla had invited Richard and Catherine. He’d given Kayla the rocking chair in her bedroom so Naomi could read to her at night. From Catherine there were several outfits for Kayla with matching tops for Teddy, and a complete set of her published books for children. Luke had given Kayla the practical gift of a savings bond.

  There were also gifts from other members of the Grayson family that Kayla had met through Catherine. There was no way Naomi could have refused any of the gifts. They loved Kayla. She’d be forever thankful that her car had chosen Santa Fe to break down in.

  A knock on the back door startled her. Despite her earlier chastisement, fear had her gripping the spoon in her hand as she whirled from the counter, only to relax seconds later. Placing the spoon back in the pancake mix, she went to the door. Gordon’s knock wouldn’t be that light, and after the last time, he’d probably bang or burst in. Still, she looked through the peephole Richard had installed for her.

  Seeing Fallon Marshall, Naomi smiled. Naomi had few female friends. They’d want to talk about their family, ask you about yours. She hated it when she had to lie, and she was tired of evading. Just saying she was divorced didn’t always satisfy some women’s curiosity. Fallon, a travel writer, had moved in the apartment next door a month ago. Like Catherine, Fallon didn’t push or ask questions.

  Fallon had knocked on Naomi’s door the day she moved in to introduce herself. Naomi, usually cautious even with women, had liked the warm and friendly Fallon immediately. They’d begun their friendship over coffee and the freshly baked chocolate chip cookies Fallon had brought with her.